What Is Confidence

"I wish I had just more confident, I could..."

How many times have you even started a statement like that? Self-awareness seems to be something that we want, at the moment where we have to believe none and admire people who have that. But what self-esteem is it for? A kind of basic human psychology, one has or does not stop? Or maybe something else?

Self-awareness is important, above all agree that you ask. Be it at work or in social life. But if I ask the same people, which is self-confidence, then the answer could not be more different.

It is striking that self-awareness, in most cases, never stands on its own, but combined with a plot. "I want to give a talk and act like self-confidence," Nobody wants to watch TV and eat with confidence.

Linguistic problems:

The first problem with the question of what is self-confidence, I have already indicated. Everyone understands something else. This is the concept itself at "self-confidence", is a so-called indefinite noun. Compared to a specific noun (Such as: auto, glass, cabinet, Christmas...) can be indefinite nouns (such as courage, success, justice) do not touch. They are much more labels or signs that summarize a large number of different information, skills, emotions, etc.. This can lead to confusion, especially when two people believe they are talking about the same thing. Is equal for both the label, but the content is different.

The big advantage is, no one can say this or that self-esteem IS Instead, you can pick what you want. Self-confidence can be there for you all sorts of things.

A little thought on the brink: Who says that YOU are confident or not? Maybe you're there already? The choice is yours.

But that would be too easy, so read on.

What is self-esteem? - A profitable model

Since my goal is to help people gain more self-confidence, a model is important to you and makes me as simply as possible.

The question: "What is self-esteem", can be approached from different directions.

Internal and external self-confidence:

The only distinction that make most people is confidence divided into two levels of perception.

1) self-esteem is a feeling. "I want to feel confident when I..."

2) self-confidence than ability. "I want to act with confidence to other people..." Self-consciousness thus appears also to be something you're doing.

The coach Timothy Gallwey (at a time where "coaching" still on sports related. More here) had a similar distinction be recognized early. He coached at that time some professional tennis player and had the task to look after them and prepare for the Games. He was also one of the first (or at least one of the first who wrote about it), who determined the relationship between the psychological state of the athlete and his power, and thus worked. He described that each player had to play two games and dominate. The game against the enemy on the field and the match against the enemy within oneself. He called both "Inner Game" and "Outer Game". He focuses here on it, self-restraint as avoidable tension, self-doubt and fear of failure and inferiority complexes, that inner game problems to be overcome by simple psychological advice.

When self-confidence I distinguish similar. First, there is the inner game, which summarizes all the internal processes, strategies, and all approaches dealing with the human psyche. And then there is the approach of the Outer Game helps you to appear confident and to look to others. This category includes things like body language, voice, appearance, etc. This distinction you hift also up on the rather confusing market of self-help and personality to find your way.

Inner Game and Outer Game influence each other:

When it comes to self-confidence, communication, most strategies on the Inner Game. Also on this page, the Inner Game approaches clearly have the upper hand.

Firstly, because it is simply more of it and because all Outer Game corrections that I use, are easily explained.

Inner Game and Outer Game influence each other, and can not even stand on its own. If you're in a good mood and relaxed, then improves automatically your body language, your voice will be stronger and think with your counterpart more eye contact. You will be perceived as self-confidence, which in turn influences the reaction of the opponent.

Conversely, running exactly the same. With a confident body language you are perceived more confident, which in turn argues in your inner and relaxes you.

Confident with good feelings and relaxation:

Relaxed and cheerful to be in a situation that normally produces stress.

That was for me, for many years, the answer to the question, what is self-confidence. This is true for me today. Everything that makes you a more positive and relaxed people, strengthens your confidence at the same time.

Ironic, is when a good mood and relaxation are there, you usually do not think about whether you're confident / workest or not. YOU'RE IT EASY.

In most cases, you only falls on the absence of all this. Instead of relaxed good humor are as anxiety and stress...

What is self-esteem if not the absence of fear and stress:

This truth will hear the least. How do I know that? I was the same. As humans, we like to look for the easiest way and most pleasant way. Quite rightly, finally, the target is to be a positive person and not driven by fear or an adrenaline junkie.

To be confident you're taken but eventually to a point where you have to somehow learn to deal with your fears. I use the word overcome rather reluctantly, because it gives the impression fears were something bad. Fear can be your best friend. Because you can go to 100% of it, if you have the anxiety or stress you weiterentwickelst you long term. With stress I do not stress too much work and creates the pressure (and you can end up in a burnout), but "positive" stress arises when you come to your physical or mental limitations. This leads to another important concept...

It's not what you do but how you deal with it:

The more obstacles and difficult situations in your life you are mastering the more confident you become The beauty is that life gives you all on their own stones placed in the way to test yourself and grow to give you the opportunity. See them as opportunities.

For challenges and difficult tasks is the same.

Challenges - putting the cart before the horse from behind:

Many people have a wrong time in the head. They think that they can do something until they have more confidence. The reality works a little differently. Because at the moment where you just do what you want (where do you think you would need more confidence), then you will develop the necessary self-awareness, all by itself. However, since then the fears and resistances, as described above.

What is self-esteem at the end? The art of strengthening the ICH:

You see, the question of what is self-confidence seems to be no easy answer. And this article was just a tiny insight into the matter.

A few points have emerged for me in the years of personal development.

1) self-confidence is not something you have or do not have, but something that you can strengthen and develop.

2) The journey never ends. I see self-awareness is not a destination but a journey. Do things need to be where you think self-confidence (/ what are you scared you) easily. The Confidence comes naturally. For Everything else there is this side.

What is self-esteem so now?

It is the art of living a life, self-determined and confident.

No more, no less..